Everywhere
by cherrydust
Summary: She won't let go of him...


Turn it inside out so I can see 

_Turn it inside out so I can see _

_The part of you that's drifting over me_

_And when I wake you're never there_

_But when I sleep you're everywhere _

_You're everywhere_

His harsh, ragged breathing filled the night air and sweat soaked his sheets as he twisted them in his fists. "No…" he whispered in his sleep. "…No!" Suddenly, his eyes flew up and he jerked himself into a sitting position. Before he could stop himself, a sob jerked from his lungs. Another one escaped and he curled himself into a small ball, trying to stop the sobs that wracked his thin frame.

Out of the darkness he whispered, "I'm so sorry…"

_Just tell me how I got this far_

_Just tell me why you're here and who you are _

_'Cause every time I look_

_You're never there_

_And every time I sleep_

_You're always there_

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

"I can't stop thinking about her,' he whispered to himself as he stood in front of the bathroom mirror. "Whenever I try to sleep I have nightmares…about her. And then when I awake…I want to cry." He bowed his head and whispered, "Is this some sort of punishment? I've fought a war for her, sacrificed who I was for her…and still her memory haunts me…"

He sighed and looked up to meet his own eyes in the mirror. "She's everywhere!"

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_I'm not alone_

The sounds of battle…the frantic shrieks and screams…her own voice yelling at him…the feel of her in his arms, before-

He sat up and sucked in his breath sharply, inhaling the heavy, humid air that lay almost tangibly around him. "Dear God," he whispered. "What can I do?"

"I've done everything possible…why is she doing this to me? Why, when…" A soft sigh slipped from his lips as he bowed his head and whispered, "When I loved her?"

_I recognize the way you make me feel_

_It's hard to think that _

_You might not be real_

_I sense it now, the water's getting deep_

_I try to wash the pain away from me_

_Away from me_

It hurt. It hurt so much. The pain was driving him half-mad.

Tears formed and refused to fall from his eyes and he bit his lower lip in an effort to stop it from trembling as he forced himself to remember.

"I loved you…I loved you more than I loved myself. I've fought a war for you, become who you wanted me to be…you have to let me let go." He raised his head as he continued, speaking not to himself but to *her*. "I am asking…"

_'Cause you're everywhere to me _

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_I'm not alone _

_I am not alone _

_Whoa, oh, oooh, oh_

She'd sworn he'd ask her one day; beg her to let him go. He'd laughed. Told her the most he'd ever ask from her was for her to pass him the salt. He'd said he'd never even say please.

And now he was begging.

"I am begging you let me go!"

_And when I touch your hand _

_It's then I understand_

_The beauty that's within_

_It's now that we begin_

_You always light my way _

_I hope there never comes a day _

_No matter where I go _

_I always feel you so_

Now he was remembering the touch of her. The way she'd been uncharacteristically gentle when she'd touched him. The way she'd brushed her lips against his when she thought he was sleeping. The way she'd loved him.

He closed his eyes and swallowed harshly. "Please…I don't want to, I don't *need* to remember…"

_'Cause you're everywhere to me_

_And when I close my eyes it's you I see_

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe_

_I'm not alone_

_'Cause you're everywhere to me _

_And when I catch my breath _

It's you I breathe 

_You're everything I know_

_That makes me believe _

_I'm not alone_

_ _

He bowed his head and whispered, "Please, Meiran, I'm begging for you to let me let go…so I can love again."

Through the mists of his tears he saw someone waiting for him…

"I am on my knees asking you…"

"I loved you."

"But I don't need to love you anymore."

"You were right…I am begging…"

_ _

_You're in everyone I see_

_So tell me_

_Do you see me? _

_ _

_ _

::End::

_ _


End file.
